You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
no you cant smoke seaweed
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
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