You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
