I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
