To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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