He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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