so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
