Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
