Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
