He asked me if I "almost moaned"
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
