I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
