Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
