She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
