So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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