Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
