Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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