I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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