And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
