so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
