wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
i think i just naturally attract stoners
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
