found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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