Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Just invented taco cereal.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
