went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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