I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
