The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
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