look no pants
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
