A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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