Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
