People with herpes should wear stickers.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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