i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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