I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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