I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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