Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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