Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
