I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
not ubering you a puppy
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
