was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
If its not for food we ain't going out.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
