Apparently you make a good broom.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
