So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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