we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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