Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
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