Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
We need to get me chipped asap
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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