Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
