I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
