This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
