your parents love me but you hate me
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
