you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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