She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
