i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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