well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
