Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I smell like Dick and happiness
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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