Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize